Sunday, March 1, 2009

Losing Myself

Last night was so hard. Had nightmares and woke up crying twice. This morning I'm going about my daily life as if I'm lost. I feel like a babymaking machine right now and I just want to be _me_. Does that make sense? I'm willing to do anything I can to receive our blessing ... but I feel like I'm losing myself in the process.

Everything I do seems to revolve around this quest and it's really breaking me down. I'm positive the 3 co-workers who are due in March/April and the three others who announced just after Christmas isn't helping ... I'm broken and I'm disappointed in myself.

It's just so frickin HARD.


  1. I am so so sorry hon! I totally know how you feel as you know I have been there myself......please remember I am here for you. You can email me or call ANYTIME. ((HUGS))

  2. I have been feeling the same way this past week! So sorry for your tough days! I don't do to well around fertile people lately!! So sad, I know! Hope you can see the beautiful person that you are and know that God is working on his miracles for you!

  3. i just got news from a good friend that she's expecting which was a complete shock since she swore for years that she didn't want kids. i just got home and broke down.

    i'm so glad that i've changed schools since there are now three people pregnant on my old staff.

    please know that you're not alone.

  4. You have SIX pregnant coworkers? Seriously? Wow. That totally blows. I'm sorry.