Thursday, March 25, 2010

New Game Plan

Had a good meeting with the RE over the lunch hour (and got to snag lunch with the DH). He took the extra time to walk through the entire IVF process and what our results were at each stage. He was very, very positive and let us know that we are responding really well and that we are on the right track.

We also talked about the resulting chemical pregnancy and he was very sure that we "got there" and things just didn't stick. He feels that just getting to the point that we had 2 beautiful embies on transfer day was a big thing and reminded me it wasn't anything I did/didn't do that resulted in the BFN. That helped. No matter what I KNOW ... the feelings of "what did I do wrong" just won't stop traveling my brain and my heart. Tough road.

So the battle plan is to do a FET cycle (frozen embie transfer) starting with my next CD1 back on Desogen (the BCP that makes me feel icky). That should happen sometime in mid-April so no news til then. Thanks to all who are still out there and following this wickedly nasty (physically/emotionally) journey.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Next Step

This will be short as I'm using my mobile phone, but basically we have our next appointment with our RE on March 25th and we'll figure out how/when to proceed with a FET. (Frozen embryo transfer) So basically I have three weeks "off" and I'm going to try to not think about fertility in any way, shape or form. (Much easier said then done).

Will check in more later but for now I'm just numb and dealing. Thank you all for the soft words, prayers and warm thoughts.

Monday, March 8, 2010


Big. Freakin. Negative. HCG 3.
Meaning either a chemical pregnancy or a very early miscarriage.

Will meet with the RE and discuss cycle #2.

God this is so hard.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Low Beta

This isn't meant to be our cycle. Not ok at the moment and really don't want phone calls or emails... just need to work through this. Thanks...

Our HCG Beta was 19. I continue my PIO and patch and will go in for another HCG test on Monday morning and there is a tiny speck of hope but the nurse said that it is very, very rare for such a low beta to turn into a successful pregnancy.

I'll know either way... today.

Well, dropped off a beautiful blood sample (amazing how numb I am to needles by now) and I will know either way in about 2 hours from now. They are going to call me with my Beta results when they are in. I don't feel much different and so I'm really worried I'll come back with a low beta... but it seems that's a common feeling for most women.

Keeping my fingers/toes crossed and saying a soft prayer. Either way we'll make it through this and Heaven forbid we need to start the process over at least we know that we. can. do. this.

*hugs* Update later today.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Check out the Embies...

Here's a photo of the photo (scanner isn't working) of the two embies we put in a week ago. It's absolutely driving me nuts wondering if they are still around and if they've implanted. It's the not knowing that is making this time creep slowly by. I've been having sore boobs, slight cramping, headaches and fatigue and I really hope these are good signs and not just in response to the progesterone and other hormones in my body.

Argh! Is it Saturday yet? I just need to _know_.