CD12

Nothing much to report except I'm tired, cranky and still have the headache. Not even close to a 2 line surge on the OPK and I'm trying not to fall apart and feel like a total failure.

Argh.

Let the fun begin...

This morning greeted me with a headache and that sense of "here come the tears." It's one of those headaches that covers my entire head like a hat and just numbs my thinking a bit and is annoying - not like a heavy migraine that I'm "used" to having - so that's both good and bad. Good as it isn't as intense but bad as I know it won't last just 24 hours.

I'm also feeling the emotions kicking up and I'm in that mindset of "what's wrong with me, don't look at me, I can't help feeling this way, I want to go back to bed and cry...". What a fun place to be. *sigh* I'll cope with it - but being at work and feeling this way is very difficult and I keep finding myself praying and hoping noone will just "stop by" into my office and want to talk. I need a sign for my office that just reads "I'm moody, enter at your own risk."

Anyway... still prayin for a double line on the OPK. If nothing by Saturday I'll have to call and schedule an u/s. Whee.

CD10

Well, this week will bring with it the testing for ovulation (something that never seems to work) and if nothing else by the end of the week I'll give them a call and go in for an u/s. Still no true symptoms but starting to get a little bit of nausea. Emotions are pretty stable and I'm thankful for that. Other things I can deal with - but crying without warning can make a very awkward work day.

Nothing else really new... except found out today that 2 more friends are expecting. They were waiting to tell relatives over Christmas and then announced today. I'm thrilled for them - but the green eyed monster HAS reared its head and my heart aches.

CD8

Well, yesterday was my last day on Clomid and really no side effects - yet. If last month is any indication I'll be feeling an emotional low by late next week, but we shall see. I'm thankful that I'm feeling pretty normal this weekend as we are visiting the inlaws. I always am thankful to be around family expecially around the holidays. They are true blessings.

*special hugs* For those following my blog. =)

Merry Christmas

Wishing all the blessings of Christmas and a healthy, happy and magical 2009.

Christmas Eve

It's that time of year again - time to spend time with family, friends and co-workers. I find myself usually spending time chatting with the other women and the topic always goes towards what their kids are doing these days and usually at least one "so, when do you think you might have kids?"

Such a tough emotional time. I realize they don't ask or say things to bring me down - but those are pretty emotionally charged questions for someone who has been trying and trying to begin their own family. I have to hold tight to the possibility that "next year will be different" and say another soft prayer for patience.

CD4

Today is CD4 and I my second day on Clomid 150mg. So far no side effects from the Clomid, but if it is anything like last month that won't happen until 3-4 days after I've gone off of it. I then get the hot flashes, always starving and an emotional wreck. Oh the joys of hormones.

Online Journal

This blog will be mostly for myself ... to get down the thoughts and worries (and hopes and dreams) as I continue down the path of infertility due to PCOS.

If you have stumbled upon this blog and would like to walk this journey with me ... you are very welcome to do so. I would enjoy the company... and if you have a blog do let me know and I'd love to visit you as well.