Calendar in Hand

Got my calendar for the FET cycle and wow... it seems like it's a ton shorter as our transfer day will be June 10th. *boggle* Yeowza. Here's basically how it will shake down:

4/23-5/13 - Started my lovely Desogen BCP
5/07-6/03 - Lupron 10 units SQ (easy peasy)
5/18 - Estradiol Level Drawn
5/18-6/09 - Much less lovely u/s appts
5/18-6/?? - Vivelle Dot Patches
6/05-6/?? - Big 'Ol Progesterone shots
*** NOTICE NO STIMS! NO REPRONEX!! (Good Thing!) **
6/09-6/19 - Methyprednisolone and Doxycycline (Nooo!)
6/10 .... Embryo transfer day (Bring it!)

So that in a nutshell is the game plan. Aren't you just so jealous?!? Actually it's a whole lot easier the second time around. I know it'll suck some weeks and that it does get better. My saying is "I can do ANYTHING for a week."

So here we go... *Choo Choo!*

Our First IVF Cycle

Wanted to paste this re-cap here mostly for my benefit and so that I don't lose the information in my massive amount of email.

IVF#1 (Fresh)
01/07-01/27: Desogen BCP
01/21-02/16: Lupron 10 units SQ, every PM
01/24-01/30: Doxycycline 100mg, twice daily
01/24-01/30: Flagyl 500mg twice daily
02/04: Baseline u/s and bloodwork - looks great
02/08-02/16: Follistim 225 IU SQ, every AM
02/08-02/16: Repronex 225 IU SQ, every PM
02/09: E2 (38)
02/10 E2 (188)
02/12 E2 (398)
02/15 E2 (1023)
02/17: retrieved 10 eggs! .. 02/18: 6 fertilized!
02/18: Progesterone 50 mg IM 1x day
02/22: embryo transfer - 2 Embies transferred and 2 Frozen!
02/06: 1st Beta = 19, 02/08: 2nd Beta = 3 ...BFN

And here we go...

Well, CD1 is not wanting to start on its own so last night was dose one of the medroxyprogesterone. This past Thursday/Friday I was cramping a lot and having wicked migraines... but nothing as of Saturday (CD30). Having this blog is pretty darn awesome as I looked back as to what happened the first time I took this and it was pretty darn mild and my CD1 actually started before the end of the 10 days. We'll see what happens.

Once CD1 would kick in we start the Desogen BCP and will get our calendar for this next journey of a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). In the meantime I've started Weight Watchers as these meds and hormones are making my weight slowly but steadily rise over the past 2 years. Getting worried as to where it was taking me so I decided I'm starting back on WW and if the "worst case scenario" is that I have to quit in 2 months as we are pregnant then I say... bring it on! ;) Down 4.4lbs this first week and my body is heaving a sigh or relief. It's nice to be eating right again.

Hope everyone has had some chance to enjoy some nice spring weather. Wow does it help the mindset and get the moods elevated. Bring on summer.

Goodie Bags!

Tonight the DH and I went by the pharmacy and picked up the Follistim and Repronex. I'm starting to feel like I'm really into this IVF journey and hot diggy dog there's a lot to do and get ready for. We kick into full swing next week (Tuesday) I will be getting my Follistim (AM), Repronex (PM) and my Lupron (PM).

SO excited! (sarcasim...)

The Follistim looks a bit creepy as it is in a large "pen" that you basically load, lock and dial up your dose and then inject as the pharmacist says "hold it like a dagger and do it like you mean it." DH has already said he'll take care of the prep and I'll get it as a wake-up call at 7:30am. Due to my dose of 225 after the first day (due to the fact the vials are 300 units) I'll get the joy of 2 sticks every morning! Aint life grand?!? The Repronex is also 225 so we have to mix 3 different vials of powder when making that one up each night. More details next week when we jump in with both feet.

Tomorrow morning I go in for baseline bloodwork and u/s to see how my suppression phase has gone. Keep fingers crossed and prayers en route. Aunt Flo kicked in today (CD1) so at least I'm on schedule! This is a very good thing.

See you all tomorrow...

Progress Report

Today is CD13 and I have been on the baby Asprin and Desogen BCP for almost 2 weeks and I'm getting much better with the nausea and fatigue side effects. So far it's been pretty easy. Thursday night I start my 10mg Lupron injections and I'll start a new set of fun side effects. I don't expect them to be all that much.


Desogen and Baby Asprin


Lupron Injections

More updates in the coming days. Thanks to all who read this and might say a soft prayer just for strength, patience and understanding as we walk this journey in hopes that one day we'll get to hear two of the most precious of words... "Mom and Dad."

Today is CD1

Got a call back from the doc today and today has become CD1 and I am officially on the IVF journey. Stopping the medroxyprogesterone and starting on the Desogen birth control pill (BCP) and baby aspirin. According to my calendar I will stay on those through January 27th.

My next "milestone" day will be January 21st when I begin my Lupron injections. Knowing they are a SQ shot is very helpful and it sounds like I can ease into this whole prickly part of the treatment. (SQ means subcutaneous injection, meaning just under the skin and a small needle)

So this is good news and I'm not as broken as I was worried I was.

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzche

CD1

Yup, major cramping going on along with headaches that could bring down a buffalo. Definately Day 1 and will be starting the Femera again on Wednesday.

I realize HE doesn't give us more than we can handle... but wow. HE must think really highly of me and my patience level. Going to keep fighting.

Emotionally Charged

Today I'm cramping and having light spotting and it's only CD24. It's amazing how just a little spotting can bring a flow of tears and a sense of failure. I just on't know how much more I can take of this. This journey is emotionally and physically draining. I can't push aside the feeling that this will never happen for us.

So hard.

CD15, Tomorrow is our day

Following the tests this morning *wince* it appears tomorrow will be “our day” again. It happens to fall on our 4th wedding anniversary. Trying to hold onto the fact things will go well but my pessimism runs high (no matter how much I try to tell myself different).

Today's u/s showed two follies on the right and one on the left.

If you could say a soft prayer tomorrow that’d be awesome.

The Day Before

Today is CD2 so tomorrow I start my meds so I'm sipping on an adult beverage tonight just to relax and remind myself what beer tastes like. DH and I have begun to talk about insurance changes in the future and planning for IVF and even brushing with the ideas of adoption and such.

I wish I had more control with the planning that could go with building a family, but it appears that I need to "let go, and let God".

Tomorrow will be CD3 and back on Femara 7.5mg and another IUI cycle.

CD1

AF has arrived and the cramps are about a 8 out of 10. Midol on board and heating pad applied and hoping that things improve.

Working from home today as yesterday was an emotional struggle that made being at work uncomfortable for both myself and my co-workers who can't put their finger on what might be going on. I'm very blessed to have a boss who understands.

It's amazing just how many tears one seems to have.

CD23

Yesterday I went in for my progesterone test and today received the result... 29. *boggle* That is by far my highest level and I'm so glad to see that the femera is working for us. Another week and hopefully we'll get to test if AF doesn't show up.

Lately I've felt slightly sick to my stomach and crampy on that left side and today I'm home this afternoon as I took the full day off due to a violent migraine this morning. I thought I was going to get sick about three times but now my stomach has settled some and I have just that numb headache feeling. Aint life grand?

I heard the following scripture on the radio driving home yesterday after an emotional day - beautiful.

Psalm 32:8
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."

CD15

U/S showed good news today. Left side (side that has been cramping like crazy) shows a 14 and a 24. I've never had a follie over 21 before so that's promising. Tomorrow is our day and then we begin the 2ww.

Sorry my updates have been few, far between and short but I guess I'm just as enthusiastic as I once was. So hard to stay positive. Any advice along that line would be more than welcome. We've been trying full on since November and it's starting to seem impossible.

*hugs* Thanks all.

CD14

Tomorrow morning I go in for my CD15 u/s to see how my follicles look. Tonight I'm trying to get some relief from cramping with a heating pad. It's crazy that I'm cramping like mad on the left side but we'll see more tomorrow morning. Bleh.

In other news, I bit down on a chip today at lunch and knocked off a bit of my lower silver filling. Now I'm really sensitive to hot and cold and need to get into the dentist. Bah, life is just one challenge after another.

Hanging in there and hope everyone else is well.

CD1

Called and refilled my prescription for Femara. Today is CD1 ... starting meds again on CD3, May 13th. Onwards to another cycle.

CD16 - IUI

Sorry I haven't been blogging much but I can only explain it as I am finding this journey really hard and so I've been trying not to focus on it as much as I once did. Otherwise things are pretty much the same-ol same-ol.

Yesterday was CD15 and I had an u/s to check on my follicles as I can't get an OPK to trigger to save my life. I had three smaller follies on the right and one beefy one on the left. I had my IUI today and we had 29million swimmers at 66% motility. We are now in the 2ww an praying hard for patience as we walk through another cycle.

Thank you all for your well wishes and keeping us in your thoughts.

God is Good

Today is CD3 and I had an u/s to see if my large cyst had passed on its own - otherwise we were going to need to take another month off and hit it with meds to get it to pass. There was no evidence of the cyst at all and we are able to start our Femara cycle and get on with trying for our miracle. God is so good.

We will be going on 7.5mg of Femara for this cycle and I'm also going to try to walk more along with maybe starting a bit of yoga. Promised myself I'd start slow - otherwise I tend to get overwhelmed and quit before I get going.

James 1:2-8
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." Amen

2009 Game Plan

The past 2 weeks I've not let myself wonder what CD I'm on, what I'm feeling, planning for the next day, PoAS, etc... and it's been wonderful. It's helped me refocus and I think I'm ready to move on and get back on the wonderful fertility wagon.

This past Thurs we met with the RE and have decided on the following timeline:

Next Tuesday:
- HSG X-Ray Study ($315)

Whenever CD2 Arrives (approx Apr 15):
Basal Antral Follicle County U/S
making sure cyst is gone prior to next cycle

From there we will start another Femara cycle and go 4-6 cycles of that depending on how well the HSG test comes out (tubes are all open) and the ovulation keeps up. If after 6 months we are no further along we will need to discuss changing insurance (if possible) and trying IVF by the end of the year. (it has been discussed and the injection cycles are not in the plan)

So, there it is in black and white. I have a game plan and will need to put on my game face. The good news is that it's Chicago Cubs season opener in 3 days so my boys of summer should help time go a bit faster.

Special thank yous to those of you who haven't given up on me.
*hugs and blessings*

CD1

Tomorrow will be CD1. We're taking a month off and will be meeting with our RE on April 4th and see where we go from here.

Not in a happy place right now.

CD29

Well, today is CD29 and my past 4 cycles were 28CD-28CD-29CD ... so I figure AF will be showing up soon. Not to say I'm not holding out hope that this is our month, that would be such a blessing - but I'm just feeling different other than being very tired and having headaches. Low back is hurting but that's due to my bad back. Bleh.

I tried testing last night (11dp iui) and BFN. Trying to tell myself it was too early and not to give up hope.

Hope you are all well.