Postponed

Haven't updated in awhile as things have been pretty status quo and with a FET cycle there really hasn't been much going on other than wearing my Vivelle patches and the nightly Lupron shot.

Today I went to my full checkup and found out that my lining isn't where we want it to be. I'm at a 4 to 5 and we want it around 8 to 9. So we have postponed my transfer until June 17th. To beef up the lining I get to take 2mg Estradiol 2x daily ... and I WISH I could take them orally - if you get my meaning. Here's hoping that a week on this med will help things along and we'll be ready to go.

Not the news I had wanted, but I guess we just have to go with the flow and be thankful that the cycle hasn't been canceled (yet). Prayers would be awesome.

Gains and Losses

The past 24 hours have really tested me. I have been going to a counselor for the past 2 years while on this infertility journey and she has been my rock every other week for so long that I've learned to really depend on my time with her to vent, dream and lay it all out as she was my safe zone.

At yesterday's session she started... "before we settle in today I need to let you know something." *deep breath* She's expecting. Deep down I'm really happy for her - but at the same time I feel like this really sucks for me. She's no longer that neutral, safe zone - and that's proving to be really, really hard. Not sure where I'll go from here. *sigh* It's so hard to see myself being able to talk the same way while watching her change from week to week. So hard.

Bloodwork this morning for Estridol level was good (41, wanted less than 100) so we are continuing on towards that magical transfer date of June 10th. Continuing the Lupron injections and will start the Vivelle patches (x2) on Friday.

Hanging in there and praying for patience, understanding and strength.

Headaches Suck

Last night I got a bit worried as I got that mind numbing "here comes a headache" feeling and had hoped that a good night of sleep would kick it to the curb... didn't happen. Woke up this morning with a raging migraine. Went back to sleep and then got up around 10:30am, got ready and headed out towards work. Stopped for a quick lunch and felt quite sick and fatigued... to the point that I called work and said I was going back home. What a wasted day, bleh.

Feeling much better tonight, however. Will be heading back to the world tomorrow. Been on Lupron now since last Friday and will be going in for bloodwork and fun things next Tuesday. Only 3 days left of the damn Desogen BCP so that's a really good thing.

Blessings all.

It's like Christmas!

Ok, not really. Actually, not even close... but I do have a big bag of "goodies" and am ready to start another cycle of bliss. There ARE a couple of positives with this cycle, however. I have to keep focused on that.

So here we are, the goodie bin for this round:



Ok, at first glance it's a huge freak-out-fest but when I start looking at the contents it's odd just how much I can sit back and say "it's ok... I've been here, done that and can do it again. Bring it on."

So here's the list:
Lupron - Icky small needles, low side effects.
Vivelle Patches - Icky, painless but make me feel funky.
Progesterone - Icky BIG needles, low side effects.
Methylprednisolone - Causes ADHD - but only 2 days this time!
Doxycycline - Causes major nausea - but only 2 days this time!

And here's the BIG news...
NO REPRONEX THIS TIME AROUND! *happy dance*

Ok, so there's the game plan. Lupron shots start this Friday and I'm finishing up my 2nd week on the Desogen BCP which isn't that nice to my moods, tummy or head so I'll be glad when we get that part over with. Here we go...

Calendar in Hand

Got my calendar for the FET cycle and wow... it seems like it's a ton shorter as our transfer day will be June 10th. *boggle* Yeowza. Here's basically how it will shake down:

4/23-5/13 - Started my lovely Desogen BCP
5/07-6/03 - Lupron 10 units SQ (easy peasy)
5/18 - Estradiol Level Drawn
5/18-6/09 - Much less lovely u/s appts
5/18-6/?? - Vivelle Dot Patches
6/05-6/?? - Big 'Ol Progesterone shots
*** NOTICE NO STIMS! NO REPRONEX!! (Good Thing!) **
6/09-6/19 - Methyprednisolone and Doxycycline (Nooo!)
6/10 .... Embryo transfer day (Bring it!)

So that in a nutshell is the game plan. Aren't you just so jealous?!? Actually it's a whole lot easier the second time around. I know it'll suck some weeks and that it does get better. My saying is "I can do ANYTHING for a week."

So here we go... *Choo Choo!*

Friday = Sick Day

Well, today I called in sick to work and although I know it was the right call I always feel embarassed and bad about doing so. I have a good 140+ hours sick leave just sitting in the bank but it still feels icky to use them and not get work done.

Last night had a pretty hefty headache starting and was worried it was going to slip into a full on migraine by morning. This morning I woke up to a morning full of strong cramps (CD3), bad headache and some nausea. I think alot of it has to do with the hormones and the Lupron but I also think that not sleeping as well as I could be due to anxiety could have thrown things a bit caddywumpus. After an extra 5 hours this morning a bit of a headache still lingers and some fatigue, but I'm feeling much better.

Anyone else feel really guilty when you call in sick? I wonder how much of it might have been growing up a teacher's kid and and the fact that I needed to be near death to ever miss a day. *smirk*

DH is a Rock Star

The best part of this journey (other than the hope for the final result of a beautiful blessing) is the strengthening of our marriage. My DH (darling husband) is a guy who has read the books with me, gone through our folder multiple times and came in from woodworking in the garage 15 minutes early so he could clean up prior to giving me my Lupron injection (which I had told him I could very well do on my own...).

He wants to do this side by side and I can't express just how AWESOME that is. Being committed is one thing ... but being a completely 50/50 journey was something that makes this journey so much easier. For those of you out there going through IVF and have an awesome partner ... let them know they are a rock star! =)

On a medical update, I can not WAIT to get off these antibiotics as they feel like they are bubbling over in my tummy and I'm so ready to be off of it. The Lupron shots aren't all that bad and I'm looking at them as a stepping stone into bigger and better (um, right...) things.

Blessings.

Bleh, Antibiotics Stink!

Today was day one of my antibiotics. I'm taking 100mg of Doxycycline and 500mg Flagyl, twice a day with food ... and woah baby they are not playing nice on the ol tummy. Nothing I can't handle but definately not a comfy feeling and things do not seem to be playing nicely. This journey rocks! *smirk*

Here's my schedule for those asking:
01/07-01/27: Desogen BCP
01/21-02/16: Lupron 10 units SQ, every PM
01/24-01/30: Doxycycline 100mg, twice daily
01/24-01/30: Flagyl 500mg twice daily
02/08-02/16: Repronex 225 IU SQ, every PM
02/08-02/16: Follistim 225 IU SQ, every AM

02/04-02/16: 4-5 u/s with blood levels
02/17-02/20: retrieval one of these days
02/22-02/24: embryo transfer one of these days

So there it is in a nutshell. Prayers of strength, patience and goodwill are awesome and thank you all who drop me notes (some of you daily) saying you are with us in spirit and keeping us in your prayers. It means so much to know that there are people walking this journey with us. Blessings!

2nd Day on Lupron

No really big news to report as things are going pretty smoothly. Just did our second Lupron shot and so far no side effects other then the very slight pinch of the injection itself. Darling hubby is the one giving me the injections and it's definately a team process. I can't imagine not having him in my life - my biggest blessing.

“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope.”
- Alexandre Dumas Père

Progress Report

Today is CD13 and I have been on the baby Asprin and Desogen BCP for almost 2 weeks and I'm getting much better with the nausea and fatigue side effects. So far it's been pretty easy. Thursday night I start my 10mg Lupron injections and I'll start a new set of fun side effects. I don't expect them to be all that much.


Desogen and Baby Asprin


Lupron Injections

More updates in the coming days. Thanks to all who read this and might say a soft prayer just for strength, patience and understanding as we walk this journey in hopes that one day we'll get to hear two of the most precious of words... "Mom and Dad."