Tuesday

I'd love to be posting more but the honesty of the situation is that I'm down, I'm depressed and I'm becoming more convinced that fertility is just something I need to pack up, put away and move on. *Sigh* I'm trying to pull my sorry arse out of this funk but right now it's not happening.

Hang in there with me ... I'll get better.

CD16 - IUI

Sorry I haven't been blogging much but I can only explain it as I am finding this journey really hard and so I've been trying not to focus on it as much as I once did. Otherwise things are pretty much the same-ol same-ol.

Yesterday was CD15 and I had an u/s to check on my follicles as I can't get an OPK to trigger to save my life. I had three smaller follies on the right and one beefy one on the left. I had my IUI today and we had 29million swimmers at 66% motility. We are now in the 2ww an praying hard for patience as we walk through another cycle.

Thank you all for your well wishes and keeping us in your thoughts.

God is Good

Today is CD3 and I had an u/s to see if my large cyst had passed on its own - otherwise we were going to need to take another month off and hit it with meds to get it to pass. There was no evidence of the cyst at all and we are able to start our Femara cycle and get on with trying for our miracle. God is so good.

We will be going on 7.5mg of Femara for this cycle and I'm also going to try to walk more along with maybe starting a bit of yoga. Promised myself I'd start slow - otherwise I tend to get overwhelmed and quit before I get going.

James 1:2-8
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." Amen

HSG X-Ray Study Update

Well, I survived. For anyone who wonders what this procedure is like I'll do my best to recap my afternoon:

~1pm: Take motrin tablets
~2pm: Took one Xanax for anxiety
~3pm: Showed upto Iowa Radiology and...
- changed into a gown
- led to xray room and begins much like a pap
- then feel more pressure and receive dye
- dye caused intense cramping for approx 3-4 minutes
- cleaned up and allowed to redress
~3:40: Left the office and came home

I would say on a level of 1-10 (10 being worst pain imaginable) it was about a 6. I've had much worse procedures but still this one ranks in the list of "glad it's over, don't want to do it again."

Best news: Everything is open and we are ready to start another round of Femera this next cycle. *hugs* Thanks for the well wishes here as well as in my email box.

HSG X-Ray Study

I should NOT surf the net the night before a procedure to find out more about it. Now I'm scared to death that it will be horrible pain from cramping during the procedure. I'm taking ibuprofen prior to the procedure to help me relax but when I'm starting out so worried that'll be hard to do.

I wasn't worried til last night and I started surfing comments by women who have had an HSG run and they all said it was horrible and the pain was intense. Hmmm.

So I have the procedure here in about 4 hours and I'll post back to let you all know a) just how horrible it was or b) just how nervous I got for no reason.

Anyone have this procedure and could pass along any feedback?
Blessings.

Show And Tell

We woke this morning to find a soft snow falling and it is almost 7pm now and is still gently falling. Our daffodils are covered but I'm not sure how they'll do. Our front tree, which had been budding, is coated in ice and snow now.



See who else is sharing.

2009 Game Plan

The past 2 weeks I've not let myself wonder what CD I'm on, what I'm feeling, planning for the next day, PoAS, etc... and it's been wonderful. It's helped me refocus and I think I'm ready to move on and get back on the wonderful fertility wagon.

This past Thurs we met with the RE and have decided on the following timeline:

Next Tuesday:
- HSG X-Ray Study ($315)

Whenever CD2 Arrives (approx Apr 15):
Basal Antral Follicle County U/S
making sure cyst is gone prior to next cycle

From there we will start another Femara cycle and go 4-6 cycles of that depending on how well the HSG test comes out (tubes are all open) and the ovulation keeps up. If after 6 months we are no further along we will need to discuss changing insurance (if possible) and trying IVF by the end of the year. (it has been discussed and the injection cycles are not in the plan)

So, there it is in black and white. I have a game plan and will need to put on my game face. The good news is that it's Chicago Cubs season opener in 3 days so my boys of summer should help time go a bit faster.

Special thank yous to those of you who haven't given up on me.
*hugs and blessings*