Journey Continues

Well, we're still out there and praying, hoping and working towards our miracle. My heart is hopeful but yet aches like nothing I've ever experienced before.

Life has been... weird. We are starting our "pre-ivf" treatments and working down our checklist of things we need to accomplish prior to starting our treatment in January. So far I've done bloodwork and some really awesome ultrasound tests. They are always such a joy. *mutter mutter* Had my sonohysterogram and the procedure was really pretty easy. Everything looks great - no abnormalities.

Started Clomid on CD5 and took it through CD9 for this series of bloodwork. This is the medicine that makes me cry at the drop of a hat. Broke down in a Subway on and had to excuse myself to the restroom to cry. Nothing like that to make one wonder if that's what it's like to go crazy. Fun fun.

CD3 bloodwork:
FSH (follicle stimulating hormone): 3.30
LH (luteinizing hormone): 2.16
Prolactin: 21.30
TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone): 2.23

CD10 bloodwork:
Estrogen 86; FSH 6.9; Projecterone .8

My estradiol level is high but they told me that they're not overly concerned. I'm nervous, but trying not to be.

Estradiol II: 228.86 (34 to 186)

I'll try to check in more but things will really start to move in late December into January through March. Thanks to all who might still be following me and helping me emotionally through this tough journey. *hugs*

CD1

Yup, major cramping going on along with headaches that could bring down a buffalo. Definately Day 1 and will be starting the Femera again on Wednesday.

I realize HE doesn't give us more than we can handle... but wow. HE must think really highly of me and my patience level. Going to keep fighting.

Emotionally Charged

Today I'm cramping and having light spotting and it's only CD24. It's amazing how just a little spotting can bring a flow of tears and a sense of failure. I just on't know how much more I can take of this. This journey is emotionally and physically draining. I can't push aside the feeling that this will never happen for us.

So hard.

CD15, Tomorrow is our day

Following the tests this morning *wince* it appears tomorrow will be “our day” again. It happens to fall on our 4th wedding anniversary. Trying to hold onto the fact things will go well but my pessimism runs high (no matter how much I try to tell myself different).

Today's u/s showed two follies on the right and one on the left.

If you could say a soft prayer tomorrow that’d be awesome.

The Day Before

Today is CD2 so tomorrow I start my meds so I'm sipping on an adult beverage tonight just to relax and remind myself what beer tastes like. DH and I have begun to talk about insurance changes in the future and planning for IVF and even brushing with the ideas of adoption and such.

I wish I had more control with the planning that could go with building a family, but it appears that I need to "let go, and let God".

Tomorrow will be CD3 and back on Femara 7.5mg and another IUI cycle.

CD1

AF has arrived and the cramps are about a 8 out of 10. Midol on board and heating pad applied and hoping that things improve.

Working from home today as yesterday was an emotional struggle that made being at work uncomfortable for both myself and my co-workers who can't put their finger on what might be going on. I'm very blessed to have a boss who understands.

It's amazing just how many tears one seems to have.

CD23

Yesterday I went in for my progesterone test and today received the result... 29. *boggle* That is by far my highest level and I'm so glad to see that the femera is working for us. Another week and hopefully we'll get to test if AF doesn't show up.

Lately I've felt slightly sick to my stomach and crampy on that left side and today I'm home this afternoon as I took the full day off due to a violent migraine this morning. I thought I was going to get sick about three times but now my stomach has settled some and I have just that numb headache feeling. Aint life grand?

I heard the following scripture on the radio driving home yesterday after an emotional day - beautiful.

Psalm 32:8
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."