BCP and Tummy Issues

Ok, one week into the Desogen BCP and my tummy hasn't been good for a few days and today after lunch (I really think it was mostly something I ate) I literally had to race home after 20 minutes in the bathroom at work. Wasn't pretty. I keep thinking this can't be just from the BCP so I looked back at a journal from January...

"Did you find that the pill made you feel like crap? There's not really one major thing that it is doing to me but my tummy just feels "off," I'm cranky, tired and just feeling like I want to crawl into a hole and tell the entire world to pi$$ off."

Second time around it's not any better it seems. My co-workers are in for a tough 2 more weeks ... I'm never going back to Bonanza no matter WHO asks me to. Sorry, nope, not goina do it. *smirk*

Our First IVF Cycle

Wanted to paste this re-cap here mostly for my benefit and so that I don't lose the information in my massive amount of email.

IVF#1 (Fresh)
01/07-01/27: Desogen BCP
01/21-02/16: Lupron 10 units SQ, every PM
01/24-01/30: Doxycycline 100mg, twice daily
01/24-01/30: Flagyl 500mg twice daily
02/04: Baseline u/s and bloodwork - looks great
02/08-02/16: Follistim 225 IU SQ, every AM
02/08-02/16: Repronex 225 IU SQ, every PM
02/09: E2 (38)
02/10 E2 (188)
02/12 E2 (398)
02/15 E2 (1023)
02/17: retrieved 10 eggs! .. 02/18: 6 fertilized!
02/18: Progesterone 50 mg IM 1x day
02/22: embryo transfer - 2 Embies transferred and 2 Frozen!
02/06: 1st Beta = 19, 02/08: 2nd Beta = 3 ...BFN

And here we go...

Well, CD1 is not wanting to start on its own so last night was dose one of the medroxyprogesterone. This past Thursday/Friday I was cramping a lot and having wicked migraines... but nothing as of Saturday (CD30). Having this blog is pretty darn awesome as I looked back as to what happened the first time I took this and it was pretty darn mild and my CD1 actually started before the end of the 10 days. We'll see what happens.

Once CD1 would kick in we start the Desogen BCP and will get our calendar for this next journey of a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). In the meantime I've started Weight Watchers as these meds and hormones are making my weight slowly but steadily rise over the past 2 years. Getting worried as to where it was taking me so I decided I'm starting back on WW and if the "worst case scenario" is that I have to quit in 2 months as we are pregnant then I say... bring it on! ;) Down 4.4lbs this first week and my body is heaving a sigh or relief. It's nice to be eating right again.

Hope everyone has had some chance to enjoy some nice spring weather. Wow does it help the mindset and get the moods elevated. Bring on summer.

New Game Plan

Had a good meeting with the RE over the lunch hour (and got to snag lunch with the DH). He took the extra time to walk through the entire IVF process and what our results were at each stage. He was very, very positive and let us know that we are responding really well and that we are on the right track.

We also talked about the resulting chemical pregnancy and he was very sure that we "got there" and things just didn't stick. He feels that just getting to the point that we had 2 beautiful embies on transfer day was a big thing and reminded me it wasn't anything I did/didn't do that resulted in the BFN. That helped. No matter what I KNOW ... the feelings of "what did I do wrong" just won't stop traveling my brain and my heart. Tough road.

So the battle plan is to do a FET cycle (frozen embie transfer) starting with my next CD1 back on Desogen (the BCP that makes me feel icky). That should happen sometime in mid-April so no news til then. Thanks to all who are still out there and following this wickedly nasty (physically/emotionally) journey.

Next Step

This will be short as I'm using my mobile phone, but basically we have our next appointment with our RE on March 25th and we'll figure out how/when to proceed with a FET. (Frozen embryo transfer) So basically I have three weeks "off" and I'm going to try to not think about fertility in any way, shape or form. (Much easier said then done).

Will check in more later but for now I'm just numb and dealing. Thank you all for the soft words, prayers and warm thoughts.

BFN

Big. Freakin. Negative. HCG 3.
Meaning either a chemical pregnancy or a very early miscarriage.

Will meet with the RE and discuss cycle #2.

God this is so hard.

Low Beta

This isn't meant to be our cycle. Not ok at the moment and really don't want phone calls or emails... just need to work through this. Thanks...

Our HCG Beta was 19. I continue my PIO and patch and will go in for another HCG test on Monday morning and there is a tiny speck of hope but the nurse said that it is very, very rare for such a low beta to turn into a successful pregnancy.